Tonight my sisters and I watched my father force his way behind the wheel of our family vehicle after he’d had to much to drink during what was supposed to be a family fun day. We watched and listened as he yelled and screamed at us about how he was done with us, because I told him he was being a drunk asshole. We watched as he got road rage with a man who pulled a gun Because my dad wouldn’t turn off his brights. We watched as he jumped out of the car to “have his ass, he couldn’t pull that trigger even if he wanted too.”. We watched as myother got in the driver’s seat before he came back to the passenger seat. We watched him get out again. We watched as my mother drove away leaving him. We watched blue lights head his way. We watched mom turn around. We watched the officer cuff him. We watched our mother talk to the police. We watched him be put in a cop car and be driving away. We watched us drive home to a house that felt empty.
Looking for the fireflies here but not sure I see them yet.
Personally I don’t do new years resolutions. I don’t do the “new year new me” thing. If you do more power to you. I do believe that everyday is a new chance to make a difference. In yourself, in the world. It’s a chance to make a difference in someone else’s life.
Everytime you wake up and open your eyes is a chance to do something different. You have to embrace each day no matter what happened the day before.
Each day is a chance to forgive and a chance to move on from the things of the past. So I don’t do new year, new me but I believe in new day new chance. So use this day. Day one of 365 to start embracing the days. To start taking chances and making moves. It’s page one of chapter one.
Have an amazing new year and keep searching for Fireflies.
A lot has changed in such a short amount of time. At the beginning of this year I thought I had lost my best friend in the entire world. Yet on the final day of 2017 I sit on her couch after spending the day running errands and spending time together before both of our S.O.s join us.
I’ve lost people and gained people this year and in hindsight I realize what a blessing each gain and even each loss was. It’s not been an easy year but it’s been a year of change and a year of growth.
365 days of growth. Growth as a person. Growth as a future wife. Growth as a friend. Growth as a daughter. Growth as a Christian.
I never thought that I would be here when this year started. I never thought that my life would be like this. No I am not saying it’s perfect, I mean my anxiety and depression still show their mean faces and send me into downward spiral but it’s easier to get back up then it was at the beginning of the year.
I’m just saying I don’t want to give up as often. I’m saying I haven’t given up on the fireflies.
In the next 365 days I’m not making any promises but I do want to try to write at least once a week. Honestly I want to do a post every day but I don’t have that much faith in myself. We will see what happens though.
Keep searching for Fireflies ❤